My post-rationalisation for this is that when testing fountain pens and inks, it's good to have things to write. Pangrams are traditional, but I really just tend to write “unilluminating minimum aluminium”. And the lyrics to “Prisencolinensinainciusol” is something I've tried several times to write out neatly... one day I'll do it.

• Ugh. False equivalence makes my bile ooze with extreme prejudice

• Queen Elizabeth intoxicatedly vowed, "Mick Jagger is perfect!"

• Just a few expectorant lozenges quickly abbreviated my cough.

• Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson's political views quickly begat sleaze

• 'Lazy' dog quickly disemboweled the poor fox in just five seconds.

• Lazy but famished dog quickly wrecked puckish vixen's jugular.

• Eliza's vacant quim engorged Alexander Hamilton's beef jerky weapon

• That jackdaw and the quartzy sphinx best go fuck themselves