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August 29, 2015 13:57
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| Share your IT job interview experience. | |
| >Came in | |
| >they asked me whether I use linux | |
| >say yes | |
| >they asked me whether I use it as a desktop OS | |
| >say yes | |
| >get shown the way out | |
| >came in | |
| >interviewer asks if i use some hipster bullshit called 'emacs' | |
| >stand up | |
| >call him a macfag | |
| >walk out | |
| >Came in | |
| >What are your primary qualifications? | |
| >I installed Gentoo | |
| >Welcome aboard! | |
| >came in | |
| >interviewer is bearded fellow, the sys admin | |
| >stench is unbearable | |
| >stutters when he asks what distro i use and what my favorite dwm is | |
| >do a 360 and walk the fuck out | |
| >walk into interview | |
| >interviewer is stallman | |
| >he asks me what i have done to enable free software | |
| >tell him i create proprietary applications to allow wabbos to have virtual girlfriends | |
| >hugs me and gives me a free bottle of pepsi | |
| >dumb HR bitch | |
| >wants me to do asynchronous requesting in java | |
| >easy as fuck | |
| >tell her I'm done | |
| >she can't into code | |
| >she only checks whether it compiles or not | |
| >hired | |
| >came in | |
| >interview bureau is actually a 4D-hyperdimensional cube | |
| >came in again three more times | |
| >came in | |
| >given shitty written "logical aptitude test" | |
| >test is just making flowcharts | |
| >finish in 10 minutes out of the hour given | |
| >score full marks | |
| >don't get hired because I didn't take long enough | |
| >come in | |
| >they ask me if I have a good understanding of theoretical physics | |
| >I tell them I have a theoretical degree in physics | |
| >hired on the spot | |
| >came in | |
| >they asked me if I knew about macs | |
| >I asked them if I looked like I had a dildo up my ass | |
| >they asked me if I knew about windows | |
| >I told them what brazzers accounts and passwords they had, all picked up through the back door in windows | |
| >hired | |
| >come in | |
| >only see computer screen | |
| >It's an arch live cd login. Somebody echo'd "install this, then we'll hire you" | |
| lel, this is going to be easy! | |
| Download AUR, run AIS script, everything goes flawlessly... | |
| >until I realized it's a uefi system, start over, make efi system partition, and realize the script fails at mounting the efi partition, which makes it impossible to install the bootloader | |
| >Walk 360 degrees and turn away, flaming helmuthdu as I come home | |
| >One of the interviewers has really big boobs. | |
| >My eyes wander during the entire Interview. | |
| >Don't get hired because I'm a pervert. | |
| >came in | |
| >interviewer has the wrong resume | |
| >i put her in her place for being unprepared | |
| >she thinks i'm a boss and hires me | |
| >i fingerbang her when the interview finishes | |
| >she has 4 of my children | |
| >i become cio of company and fire her | |
| >haven't paid a single penny in child support | |
| >Interview brat for some junior position | |
| >Ask why he left his old job | |
| >"I have perfected development, so I want a new challange" | |
| >Show him the door after 10 mins. | |
| >came in | |
| >job opening in security | |
| >interviewer asks if I had experience in C | |
| >no | |
| >interviewer asks if I had experience in network security | |
| >no | |
| >get thrown out the back door |
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