and how Microsoft collects them. This follows John Oliver's approach to explain the NSA's data collection. All the quotes are verbatim from the Windows 10 installation and all these options are enabled by default. The button to even access the menus to deactivate this behavior is unnecessarily hidden.
Personalize your speech, typing, and inking input by sending contacts and calendar details, along with other associated input data to Microsoft.
- collects who you are sharing your dick pics with
- collects when you are sharing your dick pics
Send typing and inking data to Microsoft to improve the recognition and suggestion platform.
- collects what you are saying about your (and other's) dick pics
Let Windows and apps request your location including location history and send Microsoft and trusted partners some location data to improve location services.
- collects and shares with third parties where you have ever taken or looked at a dick pic
Use page prediction to improve reading, speed up browsing, and make your overall experience better in Windows browsers. Your browsing data will be sent to Microsoft.
- collects on which websites you look at or shared a dick pic
Automatically connect to suggested open hotspots. Not all networks are secure.
- connects you to open WiFis that most likely are not secure, so that anyone near you can copy your dick pics while you are sending them over the internet
Automatically connect to networks shared by your contacts.
- collects on which networks you are sending dick pics, so that your friends can use them, too
Send error and diagnostic information to Microsoft.
- collects arbitary data, which might or might not include your dick pics, nobody really knows