shivanipods · April 3, 2017 22:15
diff --git a/sheldon_01_01 b/sheldon_01_01
 So if a photon is directed through a plane with two slits in it and either slit is observed, it will not go through both slits. If it's unobserved it will, however, if it's observed after it's left the plane but before it hits its target, it will not have gone through both slits.
 There's no point, I just think it's a good idea for a tee-shirt.
 I think this is the place.
 Leonard, I don't think I can do this.
 No. We are committing genetic fraud. There's no guarantee that our sperm is going to generate high IQ offspring, think about that. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.
 I know, and I do yearn for faster downloads, but there's some poor woman is going to pin her hopes on my sperm, what if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve the area under a curve.
 I wouldn't.
 I want to leave.
 What's the protocol for leaving?
 Let's try just walking out.
 Bye-bye
 Are you still mad about the sperm bank?
 You want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
 If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimetres, most people will trip.
 No, it's true, I did a series of experiments when I was twelve, my father broke his clavicle.
 No, that was the result of my work with lasers.
 Evidently.
 Two hundred pound transvestite with a skin condition, yes she is.
 Hi.
 Hi.
 Hi.
 Great.
 Bye.
 No. We're going to start Season Two of "Battlestar Galactica".
 Not with commentary.
 We never invited Louis-slash-Louise over.
 I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on myspace.
 That's the beauty of it.
 Chat? We don't chat. At least not offline.
 To what end?
 Hi.
 Leonard, I'm not expert here but I believe in the context of a luncheon invitation, you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements.
 Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
 Actually that's my work.
 Yeah, well, it's just some quantum mechanics, with a little string theory doodling around the edges. That part there, that's just a joke, it's a spoof of the Bourne-Oppenheimer approximation.
 Yeah.
 If by holy smokes you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure.
 Oh, come on. Who hasn't seen this differential below "here I sit broken hearted?"
 I didn't invent them, they're there.
 In all of them, that is the point.
 Um, Penny... that's where I sit.
 ... No, I sit there.
 "What's the difference"?
 In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by open windows there, and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but I think I've made my point.
 Well-
 Fine.
 Aaah!
 That's not true. Koothrapali and Wolowitz come over all the time.
 Tuesday night we played Klingon boggle until one in the morning.
 I resent you saying we don't have company.
 That is an antisocial implication.
 Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the Sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations and the time of your birth somehow effects your personality.
 That's interesting. Leonard can't process corn.
 You're lactose intolerant.
 What's happening.
 It took you four years to get through High School?
 You? No, you'll only make it worse.
 Yes.
 Yes.
 No?
 No.
 Well this is an interesting development.
 It has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment.
 Point taken. It has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off after which we didn't want to rip our eyes out.
 So, what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?
 That woman in there's not going to have sex with you.
 Oh, good. Then you won't be disappointed.
 Yes, but not of the same species.
 Oh, of course.
 Do you think this possibility will be helped or hindered when she discovers your Luke Skywalker no-more-tears shampoo?
 Leonard has a lady over.
 Technically that would be coitus interruptus.
 I really think we should examine the chain of causality here.
 Event A. A beautiful woman stands naked in our shower. Event B. We drive half way across town to retrieve a television set from the aforementioned woman's ex-boyfriend. Query, on what plane of existence is there even a semi-rational link between these events?
 Ah, yes, well that may be the proximal cause of our journey, but we both know it only exists in contradistinction to the higher level distal cause.
 You think with your penis.
 Oh, right, yes, I could have stayed behind and watched Wolowitz try to hit on Penny in Russian, Arabic and Farsi. Why can't she get her own TV.
 No, I don't. And neither do you.
 You did not break up with Joyce Kim, she defected to North Korea.
 So we get to have a scene with him?
 Leonard, the two of us can't even carry a TV.
 Hello.
 Okay, thanks for your time.
 Leonard, the TV is in the building, we've been denied access to the building, ergo we are done.
 My apologies. What's your plan.
 It's just a privilege to watch your mind at work.
 What do you think their combined IQ is?
 Good thinking, I'll just be the muscle.
 From the intercom.
 Tell him about our IQ.
 Leonard.
 My mom bought me those pants.
 You're going to have to call her.
 It's okay. It wasn't my first pantsing, and it won't be my last.
 Well you got me out of my pants.
 Don't think like that, you're not going to die alone.
 And you're certainly not going to win a Nobel Prize.
 That was a valid hypothesis? What is happening to you?
 Thank you. You're not done with her, are you?
 Not to mention imaginary.
 We can't have Thai food, we had Indian for lunch.
 They're both curry based cuisines.
 They would be gastronomically redundant. I can see we're going to have to spell out everything for this girl.
 I don't know what your odds are in the world as a whole, but as far as the population of this car goes, you're a veritable Mack Daddy.
	So if a photon is directed through a plane with two slits in it and either slit is observed, it will not go through both slits. If it's unobserved it will, however, if it's observed after it's left the plane but before it hits its target, it will not have gone through both slits.
	There's no point, I just think it's a good idea for a tee-shirt.
	I think this is the place.
	Leonard, I don't think I can do this.
	No. We are committing genetic fraud. There's no guarantee that our sperm is going to generate high IQ offspring, think about that. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.
	I know, and I do yearn for faster downloads, but there's some poor woman is going to pin her hopes on my sperm, what if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve the area under a curve.
	I wouldn't.
	I want to leave.
	What's the protocol for leaving?
	Let's try just walking out.
	Bye-bye
	Are you still mad about the sperm bank?
	You want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
	If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimetres, most people will trip.
	No, it's true, I did a series of experiments when I was twelve, my father broke his clavicle.
	No, that was the result of my work with lasers.
	Evidently.
	Two hundred pound transvestite with a skin condition, yes she is.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	Great.
	Bye.
	No. We're going to start Season Two of "Battlestar Galactica".
	Not with commentary.
	We never invited Louis-slash-Louise over.
	I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on myspace.
	That's the beauty of it.
	Chat? We don't chat. At least not offline.
	To what end?
	Hi.
	Leonard, I'm not expert here but I believe in the context of a luncheon invitation, you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements.
	Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
	Actually that's my work.
	Yeah, well, it's just some quantum mechanics, with a little string theory doodling around the edges. That part there, that's just a joke, it's a spoof of the Bourne-Oppenheimer approximation.
	Yeah.
	If by holy smokes you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure.
	Oh, come on. Who hasn't seen this differential below "here I sit broken hearted?"
	I didn't invent them, they're there.
	In all of them, that is the point.
	Um, Penny... that's where I sit.
	... No, I sit there.
	"What's the difference"?
	In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by open windows there, and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but I think I've made my point.
	Well-
	Fine.
	Aaah!
	That's not true. Koothrapali and Wolowitz come over all the time.
	Tuesday night we played Klingon boggle until one in the morning.
	I resent you saying we don't have company.
	That is an antisocial implication.
	Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the Sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations and the time of your birth somehow effects your personality.
	That's interesting. Leonard can't process corn.
	You're lactose intolerant.
	What's happening.
	It took you four years to get through High School?
	You? No, you'll only make it worse.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	No?
	No.
	Well this is an interesting development.
	It has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment.
	Point taken. It has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off after which we didn't want to rip our eyes out.
	So, what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?
	That woman in there's not going to have sex with you.
	Oh, good. Then you won't be disappointed.
	Yes, but not of the same species.
	Oh, of course.
	Do you think this possibility will be helped or hindered when she discovers your Luke Skywalker no-more-tears shampoo?
	Leonard has a lady over.
	Technically that would be coitus interruptus.
	I really think we should examine the chain of causality here.
	Event A. A beautiful woman stands naked in our shower. Event B. We drive half way across town to retrieve a television set from the aforementioned woman's ex-boyfriend. Query, on what plane of existence is there even a semi-rational link between these events?
	Ah, yes, well that may be the proximal cause of our journey, but we both know it only exists in contradistinction to the higher level distal cause.
	You think with your penis.
	Oh, right, yes, I could have stayed behind and watched Wolowitz try to hit on Penny in Russian, Arabic and Farsi. Why can't she get her own TV.
	No, I don't. And neither do you.
	You did not break up with Joyce Kim, she defected to North Korea.
	So we get to have a scene with him?
	Leonard, the two of us can't even carry a TV.
	Hello.
	Okay, thanks for your time.
	Leonard, the TV is in the building, we've been denied access to the building, ergo we are done.
	My apologies. What's your plan.
	It's just a privilege to watch your mind at work.
	What do you think their combined IQ is?
	Good thinking, I'll just be the muscle.
	From the intercom.
	Tell him about our IQ.
	Leonard.
	My mom bought me those pants.
	You're going to have to call her.
	It's okay. It wasn't my first pantsing, and it won't be my last.
	Well you got me out of my pants.
	Don't think like that, you're not going to die alone.
	And you're certainly not going to win a Nobel Prize.
	That was a valid hypothesis? What is happening to you?
	Thank you. You're not done with her, are you?
	Not to mention imaginary.
	We can't have Thai food, we had Indian for lunch.
	They're both curry based cuisines.
	They would be gastronomically redundant. I can see we're going to have to spell out everything for this girl.
	I don't know what your odds are in the world as a whole, but as far as the population of this car goes, you're a veritable Mack Daddy.