notepadwebdev · December 7, 2012 01:18
diff --git a/gistfile1.txt b/gistfile1.txt
 Fuckin...
 I was in my kitchen right
 checking to see if my T-shirt was dry right
 and I just burst out laughing
 cos on the label of my T-shirt
 it said George
 cos I got it fae Asda
 and it was as if 
 every time I leave the kitchen
 everything in the kitchen 
 springs tae life
 like Toy Story.
 And his name's George.
 I was pissin mesel',
 just imagine the slagging he must get fae the rest o the kitchen like that, fuckin...
 "Georgie Progie pudding and pie
 kissed the girls and made them cry".
 But then I thought naw,
 maybe no.
 Don't get mae wrang I've got nae doubt his nickname's Georgie Porgie
 but it might be one of thae nicknames that they don't dare call him tae his face
 like Joe Bananas.
 Cos if you ever call Joe Bananas
 Joe Bananas
 he'd fucking go
 bananas.
 Well maybe if you call'd Georgie Porgie
 Georgie Porgie
 he fucking goes
 bananas.
 But then I thought naw,
 maybe no.
 Cos it's no as if a T-shirt's gonna be the hard man of the kitchen.
 That'd probably be
 the kitchen knife.
 But then I thought naw,
 hawd on.
 Kitchen knife in a fight against 
 a frying pan?
 Frying pan would win.
 Kitchen knife in a fight against 
 the chopping board?
 Chopping board would win.
 Chopping board wouldnae even feel it.
 Chopping boards are made to no gi a fuck about kitchen knives.
 Kitchen knife in a fight against me?
 Aye, the kitchen knife would win then
 but I'm the only one in the kitchen the kitchen knife would win against
 and I just thought 
 that I bet the rest of the kitchen are onto that,
 and pure take the piss out of the kitchen knife,
 and bully it and that,
 grog on it.
 And that got me worried
 cos it reminded me of those schoolboys you get in America that get bullied
 but then they come into school one day
 and kill everybody
 and cos I'm the only one in the kitchen the kitchen knife can kill...
 Aye that got me worried
 so I just thought 
 "Look, you've came in,
 you've checked your T-shirt,
 it's no dry yet,
 just get out and leave them tae it".
 Now, I'm not saying that my kitchen actually does come to life when I leave right,
 I'm not mental or anything,
 but see as I was walking out?
 See in my frying pan?
 I gave it a wee dunt.
 Gave it a wee dunt 
 in front of the kitchen knife,
 just in case.
	Fuckin...
	I was in my kitchen right
	checking to see if my T-shirt was dry right
	and I just burst out laughing
	cos on the label of my T-shirt
	it said George
	cos I got it fae Asda
	and it was as if
	every time I leave the kitchen
	everything in the kitchen
	springs tae life
	like Toy Story.
	And his name's George.
	I was pissin mesel',
	just imagine the slagging he must get fae the rest o the kitchen like that, fuckin...
	"Georgie Progie pudding and pie
	kissed the girls and made them cry".
	But then I thought naw,
	maybe no.
	Don't get mae wrang I've got nae doubt his nickname's Georgie Porgie
	but it might be one of thae nicknames that they don't dare call him tae his face
	like Joe Bananas.
	Cos if you ever call Joe Bananas
	Joe Bananas
	he'd fucking go
	bananas.
	Well maybe if you call'd Georgie Porgie
	Georgie Porgie
	he fucking goes
	bananas.
	But then I thought naw,
	maybe no.
	Cos it's no as if a T-shirt's gonna be the hard man of the kitchen.
	That'd probably be
	the kitchen knife.
	But then I thought naw,
	hawd on.
	Kitchen knife in a fight against
	a frying pan?
	Frying pan would win.
	Kitchen knife in a fight against
	the chopping board?
	Chopping board would win.
	Chopping board wouldnae even feel it.
	Chopping boards are made to no gi a fuck about kitchen knives.
	Kitchen knife in a fight against me?
	Aye, the kitchen knife would win then
	but I'm the only one in the kitchen the kitchen knife would win against
	and I just thought
	that I bet the rest of the kitchen are onto that,
	and pure take the piss out of the kitchen knife,
	and bully it and that,
	grog on it.
	And that got me worried
	cos it reminded me of those schoolboys you get in America that get bullied
	but then they come into school one day
	and kill everybody
	and cos I'm the only one in the kitchen the kitchen knife can kill...
	Aye that got me worried
	so I just thought
	"Look, you've came in,
	you've checked your T-shirt,
	it's no dry yet,
	just get out and leave them tae it".
	Now, I'm not saying that my kitchen actually does come to life when I leave right,
	I'm not mental or anything,
	but see as I was walking out?
	See in my frying pan?
	I gave it a wee dunt.
	Gave it a wee dunt
	in front of the kitchen knife,
	just in case.