What they should stop saying is “can I give you some feedback?” And they should start saying “here’s my reaction.”
Whenever you see one of your people do something that worked for you, that rocked your world just a little, stop for a minute and highlight it. By helping your team member recognize what excellence looks like for her—by saying, “That! Yes, that!“—you’re offering her the chance to gain an insight; you’re highlighting a pattern that is already there within her so that she can recognize it, anchor it, re-create it, and refine it. That is learning.
https://hbr.org/2019/03/the-feedback-fallacy
"The first agenda item is you. Tell me how you’re doing, how you’re feeling,”
https://medium.com/s/story/a-beginners-guide-to-giving-performance-reviews-963aba23bd
One on One Meeting Questions Great Managers Ask Their Teams
https://getlighthouse.com/blog/one-on-one-meeting-questions-great-managers-ask/
the single most valuable skill you can possess to remain employable over time is learning how to learn