Job Description	Actual meaning
A fast-paced environment	Your job will be constant firefighting
A market leader	Recently started making a profit
Able to work with minimal spervision	You'll be the one we blame when something goes wrong
An Agile team	We have daily stand-ups
Dynamic environment	Our leadership keeps changing priorities
Must be a team player	Must not question authority
Ninja	You do all the work alone
Passionate	You will persevere through regular death marches
Rockstar developer	You will work very long hours with impossible deadlines
Self-starter	We have no process
We have an urgent need	Our other rockstar just left and no one understands the code
Work on cutting edge technology	Do what everyone else is doing
v.1.0