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@getaaron
Forked from chockenberry/gist:055bd31f28f3bc5904ea
Last active August 29, 2015 14:09
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typealias BOOLAEN = Bool
typealias LIKEON68K = UInt16
typealias STRING = String
typealias STRINGINDEX = String.Index
typealias BOOL = Bool
typealias UNICODESCALER = UnicodeScalar
typealias GONADS = String
typealias NUMBERSWITHDOTS = Double
typealias CH = Character
typealias AMANA = Range<STRINGINDEX>
func YUP () -> BOOLAEN {return true}
func NAH () -> BOOLAEN {return !YUP()}
extension STRING {
func HASLETTERS() -> BOOLAEN {
return !self.isEmpty
}
mutating func FIRSTLETTER() -> CH {
return self.removeAtIndex(self.startIndex)
}
}
class CHOCKLASS {
enum AWESOMELEVEL : LIKEON68K {
case ME = 0o177777, EVERYONEELSE
func SHOWIT() -> STRING {
var GREETS = (self == .EVERYONEELSE ? "LOSER" : "CHOCK")
var LEVEL = NUMBERSWITHDOTS(self.rawValue)
return "YOURE AWESOMELEVEL IS \(LEVEL) \(GREETS)"
}
}
class func ISITAWESOME(PERSON : STRING, WITHSEX : STRING) -> BOOL {
return (PERSON == "CHOCK" || WITHSEX == "YES")
}
class func ISITAWESOME(PERSON : STRING, WITHSEX : BOOLAEN) -> BOOLAEN {
return ISITAWESOME(PERSON, WITHSEX: WITHSEX == YUP() ? "YES" : "HECK MAYBE")
}
class func FIX(var MESSEDUP : STRING) -> STRING {
var YOUREWELCOME = STRING()
while MESSEDUP.HASLETTERS() {
var PROBABLYWRONG = MESSEDUP.FIRSTLETTER()
switch PROBABLYWRONG {
case "a"..."z":
var MAGICALLETTERS = STRING(PROBABLYWRONG).unicodeScalars
var NUM = MAGICALLETTERS.removeAtIndex(MAGICALLETTERS.startIndex)
var BETTERNUM = NUM.value - 0x20
YOUREWELCOME += STRING(UNICODESCALER(BETTERNUM))
case "A"..."Z", " ":
YOUREWELCOME += STRING(PROBABLYWRONG)
default:
YOUREWELCOME += " DUH "
}
}
return YOUREWELCOME
}
class func SECURITY(var TOPSECRET : STRING) -> STRING {
var ROTWHATEVER = ""
let WHOANELLY = TOPSECRET.endIndex
var WHEREWEAT = TOPSECRET.startIndex
var WHEREWEGOIN = advance(WHEREWEAT, 1)
while WHEREWEGOIN < WHOANELLY {
var FLIPPER = TOPSECRET[AMANA(start:WHEREWEAT, end:WHEREWEGOIN)]
ROTWHATEVER = FLIPPER + ROTWHATEVER
WHEREWEAT = WHEREWEGOIN
WHEREWEGOIN = advance(WHEREWEGOIN, 1)
}
return ROTWHATEVER
}
private var PARTS : GONADS
init () {
self.PARTS = "HUGE"
}
class func SWAP<TYPE>(inout HOTT: TYPE, inout HOTTER: TYPE) {
let FLUFFER = HOTT
HOTT = HOTTER
HOTTER = FLUFFER
}
// // uncomment this for a weird error
// weak lazy var weakLazyCraig = CHOCKLASS()
}
CHOCKLASS.ISITAWESOME("TED", WITHSEX: "M")
CHOCKLASS.ISITAWESOME("CHOCK", WITHSEX: "MUCHO")
CHOCKLASS.ISITAWESOME("BABS", WITHSEX: "YES")
var GIRLFRIEND = "CANDI"
var WIFE = "BABS"
CHOCKLASS.SWAP(&WIFE, HOTTER: &GIRLFRIEND)
var ME = CHOCKLASS()
ME.PARTS
CHOCKLASS.FIX("Am I crazy 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸")
CHOCKLASS.AWESOMELEVEL.ME.SHOWIT()
CHOCKLASS.AWESOMELEVEL.EVERYONEELSE.SHOWIT()
CHOCKLASS.SECURITY("SEKRET96")
CHOCKLASS.SECURITY(CHOCKLASS.FIX("My voice is my password."))
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