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- Actually, that's a feature
- Did you check for a virus on your system?
- Don't worry, that value is only wrong half of the time
- Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
- Everything looks fine my end
- How is that possible?
- I broke that deliberately to do some testing
- I can have a look but there's a lot of if statements in that code!
- I can't make that a priority right now
- I can't test everything
- I couldn't find any examples of how that can be done anywhere else in the project
- I couldn't find any examples of how that can be done anywhere online
- I couldn't find any library that can even do that
- I did a quick fix last time but it broke when we rebooted
- I didn't anticipate that I would make any errors
- I didn't create that part of the program
- I didn't receive a ticket for it
- I forgot to commit the code that fixes that
- I had to do the project backwards as people demanded results out of order
- I have never seen that before in my life
- I have too many other high priority things to do right now
- I haven't been able to reproduce that
- I haven't had any experience with that before
- I haven't had the chance to run that code yet
- I haven't touched that code in weeks
- I heard there was a solar flare today
- I must have been stress testing our production server
- I must not have understood what you were asking for
- I thought I finished that
- I thought I fixed that
- I thought he knew the context of what I was talking about
- I thought you signed off on that?
- I told you yesterday it would be done by the end of today
- I usually get a notification when that happens
- I was just fixing that
- I was told to stop working on that when something important came up
- I'll have to fix that at a later date
- I'm not familiar with it so I didn't fix it in case I made it worse
- I'm not getting any error codes
- I'm not sure as I've never had a look at how that works before
- I'm still working on that as we speak
- I'm surprised it works as well as it does
- I'm surprised that was working at all
- In the interest of efficiency I only check my email for that on a Friday
- It can't be broken, it passes all unit tests
- It must be a firewall issue
- It must be a hardware problem
- It must be because of a leap second
- It must be because of a leap year
- It probably won't happen again
- It was working in my head
- It worked yesterday
- It works for me
- It works, but it's not been tested
- It would have taken twice as long to build it properly
- It would take too long to rewrite the code from scratch
- It's a browser compatibility issue
- It's a character encoding issue
- It's a known bug with the programming language
- It's a known bug with the server software
- It's a remote vendor issue
- It's a third party application issue
- It's always been like that
- It's an unexpected emergent behaviour of several last minute abstractions
- It's just some unlucky coincidence
- It's never done that before
- It's never shown unexpected behaviour like this before
- It's not a code problem - our users need more training
- Management insisted we wouldn't need to waste our time writing unit tests
- Maybe somebody forgot to pay our hosting company
- My time was split in a way that meant I couldn't do either project properly
- No one told me so I was forced to assume which way to do that
- Nobody asked me how long it would actually take
- Nobody has ever complained about it
- Oh, that was just a temporary fix
- Oh, that was only supposed to be a placeholder
- Oh, you said you DIDN'T want that to happen?
- Our code quality is no worse than anyone else in the industry
- Our hardware is too slow to cope with demand
- Our internet connection must not be working
- Our redundant systems must have failed as well
- Somebody must have changed my code
- THIS can't be the source of THAT
- That behaviour is in the original specification
- That code seemed so simple I didn't think it needed testing
- That code was written by the last guy
- That error means it was successful
- That feature was slated for phase two
- That feature would be outside of the scope
- That important email must have been marked as spam
- That isn't covered by my job description
- That process requires human oversight that nobody was providing
- That was literally a one in a million error
- That wasn't in the original specification
- That worked perfectly when I developed it
- That wouldn't be economically feasible
- That's already fixed it just hasn't taken effect yet
- That's interesting, how did you manage to make it do that?
- That's not a bug it's a configuration issue
- That's the fault of the graphic designer
- The WYSIWYG must have produced an invalid output
- The accounting department must have cancelled that subscription
- The client must have been hacked
- The client wanted it changed at the last minute
- The code is compiling
- The download must have been corrupted
- The existing design makes it difficult to do the right thing
- The marketing department made us put that there
- The original specification contained conflicting requirements
- The person responsible doesn't work here anymore
- The problem seems to be with our legacy software
- The program has never collected that information
- The project manager said no one would want that feature
- The project manager told me to do it that way
- The request must have dropped some packets
- The specifications were ambiguous
- The third party API is not responding
- The third party documentation doesn't exist
- The third party documentation is wrong
- The unit test doesn't cover that eventuality
- The user must not know how to use it
- There must be something strange in your data
- There was too little data to bother with the extra functionality at the time
- There were too many developers working on that same thing
- There's currently a problem with our hosting company
- This code was not supposed to go in to production yet
- This is a previously known bug you told me not to work on yet
- We didn't have enough time to peer review the final changes
- We outsourced that months ago
- We should have updated our software years ago
- We spent three months debugging it because we only had one month to build it
- Well at least we know not to try that again
- Well done, you found my easter egg!
- Well, at least it displays a very pretty error
- Well, that's a first
- What did I tell you about using parts of the system you don't understand?
- What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?
- Where were you when the program blew up?
- Why do you want to do it that way?
- You can't use that version on your system
- You must be missing some of the dependencies
- You must have done something wrong
- You must have the wrong version
- You're doing it wrong
- Your browser must be caching the old content