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@benmathes
Last active January 5, 2016 17:27
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Unsolicited Thoughts for the Young Men of San Francisco
The sooner you’re comfortable dressing up to look like you didn't try that hard to look cool, the better.
If your friends aren’t surprised by one of your political affiliations then you’re too predictable.
If you're not already, become friends with a housing-rights activist.
Know enough about wine that you’re comfortable speak to a sommelier.
Know enough about weed that you're comfortable talking to the truffle guy in Dolores Park.
Don't learn to drive a stick shift on the SF hills.
Don’t frequent strip clubs.
Pay for her Uber home.
The best articles on twitter are not from news outlets.
Never wear activewear outside The Marina or Cow Hollow unless you are actually exercising or on your way to.
If you like a bar or restaurant learn as many people’s names there as you can.
Don't own so much stuff that you need a cleaning person.
You should have high quality: Knives, cookware, bed, linens, boots, dress shoes. Someone who judges you harshly about not having them, though, is petty and not worth your time.
Try going Vegan for a week, and don't tell anyone about it.
Nobody is your bro, Marina.
If there’s a line outside then you've found one of the two good brunch spots in the neighborhood. There's a non-michelin-star option within a few blocks if you want it.
If you live in SF go to the Cal Academy of Sciences or De Young. Consider being a member.
Have breakfast with a friend once a week.
Go on a walking tour.
Spend a day out in Oakland.
Spend a night out in Oakland.
Go west of Twin Peaks.
Leave your neighborhood at least once a month.
Disable nearly all notifications on your phone.
You’ll be surprised how much you can learn from Robert Caro, Ernest Hemmingway, Jack London, and John Steinbeck.
Don't buy anything that advertises on Facebook. Install an ad-blocker.
Go to India/Nepal/China/SE-Asia/etc. before you’re twenty five. Put photos of it in your Tinder profile.
Unless you’re hiking at altitude, don’t wear a backpack in public. Use a messenger bag.
Read putthison.com. Seek the advice of a man who works in a good men’s store, even if you can’t afford to shop there. They’ll be more helpful than you realize. (Cable Car Clothiers)
Pink cocktails are fabulous, it's the sugar in them that gets you. Artificial Sweetener is not a solution.
Ask your grandfather what his life was like 50 years ago, and don’t interrupt him.
Ask your grandmother what her life was like 50 years ago, and don't interrupt her.
Do not own a watch. Your phone has the time. Your ego is not so fragile you need a status symbol on your wrist.
Buy from a small bodega if you live near one, or learn your neighborhoods farmer's markets schedule.
If making rent is hard, use these pro recipes for $4/day cooking: http://www.leannebrown.com/s/good-and-cheap.pdf
You’ll never regret being a regular until your favorite spot closes because the rent is too damn high.
Have a pet cause (that does real good) and set up automatic donations, even if it’s only $25 a year.
Long socks with pants, very short socks with shorts. I want to see your shoes. I don't want to see your socks.
If your cocktail arrives with a straw in it you may be at the Conga Room.
Go to the Fillmore and Warfield once a year, even if you don’t know the band. Same for the Opera and Symphony. Midweek tickets can be cheap.
Know a fancy place to get a drink (and a dive) within 10 minutes of your house.
Have a calling card you’re proud of, your name and email are enough.
You should never care enough about shoes that someone's impression of them will ruin your day.
Get to know who The Diggers and The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence were/are.
Don't forget SF existed more than 5 years ago. Eat at Al's Place, and The House of Prime Rib.
Have a friend who’s twenty years older than you.
If you’re grateful for the education you received then volunteer to help local schools or tutor. If you're not a good teacher, giving money is an ok second choice.
You don’t send thank-you emails?
Bring a bottle to every party—and not cheap wine from the nearest store. If you’re not confident choosing the wine then bring a cold-weather Pinot Noir.
Get familiar with a liquor store staff. This probably means K&L Wines. You should be able to come in with a price range and food pairing and leave happy.
0.1% of you playing fantasy sports are making money with statistics. 99.9% of you are losing money at gambling. Do you have 10 spreadsheets that use linear analysis or calculus?
Always watch the Daily Show's take on the State of the Union, regardless of your politics.
You don’t know anything about the Civil War? The CIA? The NSA? Robert Moses? Jane Jacobs? The Summer of Love?
Start building your kindle or Audible library now. Physical books are for the handful that have deep meaning for you, like works of art on the wall.
Learn what a signal/noise ratio is and be concious of it on social media.
In dressing, like music composition, you need to know the rule in order to break it. Square-toed shoes are never right.
Research tailors in your area and aspire to visit the one that’s right for you. Start with a versatile piece of outerwear. And take their advice, this is their livelihood.
When in doubt wear straightforward, classic clothes. Don’t try to reinvent anything. If Fred Astaire wouldn’t recognize it then be wary. You don’t want to look like a Bond villain or a Russian military attaché. (this applies to thie hipster jeans+t-shirt, too)
Don’t bet on sports.
Unless you are personally a bartender, cocktails should be simple.
Don’t rent clothes.
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